


Finding Her Voice

by raisthewolf



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marinett's stutter is worse in this, Stuttering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisthewolf/pseuds/raisthewolf
Summary: Marinette struggles to communicate with her crush, but Adrien doesn't mind. He's used to communicating non verbally.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	1. Practice

**Author's Note:**

> I've really related to Marinette with her stutter, so I decided to write a story centered on her stutter, and learning to communicate with out relying solely on speech. With that being said, the experiences portrayed here are very much based on my own. My stutter is pretty mild and very conditional, and some of the themes in this story are a bit wish fulfillment for me. By no means is this story meant to represent the experiences or desires of everyone with a stutter. On another note, this is the first bit of my writing I've ever posted, so constructive feedback is very much appreciated.

“H-hi, Adri-en. H-h-how are y-you today?” 

Marinette forced an awkward smile as she stared at her reflection. After a moment, she sighed and let her smile drop, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. She opened her eyes and smiled again, trying her best to look relaxed and natural. Speaking slowly and deliberately, she started again.

“Hi Adrien. How are you t-tod-ay? Ughhh” she groaned in frustration, rolling her eyes and looking away from her mirror and around her room. She walked over to her bed and plopped unceremoniously down on the comforter, wrinkling the neatly made spread. Sighing loudly, she propped her head up in her hands, elbows resting on her knees.

“Don’t give up Marinette!” Tikki chirped as she flew out of Marinette’s purse. The red and black kwami hovered in the air in front of Marinette’s face. “You almost had it that time!”

“Almost...” Marinette echoed dejectedly. “But that’s here, in my room. I’m just talking into a mirror and I still can’t keep my words straight! There’s no way I’d be able to with... him. Every time I try to talk to him I just... mess up.” Marrinette’s face sunk deeper into her palms, pushing her cheeks up comically and turning her mouth into an exaggerated pout.

“But, why though?” Tikki asked, tilting her head and staring at her charge. “I mean, you don’t stutter much the rest of the time. In fact most of the time you don’t stutter at all!”

“I know, but... it’s not an always thing, it’s just when I get nervous or flustered, and, well, I’m always both around him! How am I ever going to manage to tell him how I feel, or go on a date with him, or anything if I can’t even talk to him?”

“Maybe you just need to power through it. Adrien seems like a nice person, I’m sure he wouldn’t judge you for stuttering.”

“I know, but it’s embarrassing. What if he laughs at me, or what if he’s just pretending to listen because he pities me?”

“Marinette! You know that’s not going to happen.”

“Maybe... it’s more than just that, though. I really like him Tikki, and I want him to like me too. But more than that, I want to be his friend. Talking to your friends is supposed to be easy and natural. How could he be friends with someone who can barely talk to him?” Marrinette pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. “That’s why I’ve been practicing. I want to talk to him, and get to know him, and maybe he’ll get to know me too. But he just makes me so nervous.”

Marinette looked defeated, and Tikki frowned with worry. “Even here, when it’s just you, me, and the mirror?” she asked. Marinette nodded.

“Most of the time, all it takes to start stuttering is to think about it. So thinking about him, and being so worried that I’ll start stuttering, I end up doing it anyway. And when I start, I can’t stop.” She closed her eyes.

“Well,” Tikki started, cautiously. “Don’t give up yet. You’ve only been practicing for half an hour after all.”

“Wait what?!” Marinette shouted, alarm filling her voice as her head shot up. She looked down at her watch to find that it read 8:25. “GAH!” she shouted. “I’m gonna be late!” Marinette grabbed her backpack and ran out of her room as Tiki darted back into her purse.

* * *

“Plagg! Where’s my other shoe?”

Adrien shuffled across the room, only one shoe on, as he ducked under different articles of furniture, craning his neck to try and see if it had gotten wedged underneath.

“How should I know?” The black kwami shouted as he lounged lazily on Adrien’s bed.

“Well, have you seen it?” Adrien asked, his voice only slightly accusatory.

“No...”

“I can tell when you’re lying to me.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!” Plagg lied, badly. Adrien crawled around on the floor of his closet, moving old boxes aside until he happened upon a small cavity in between two of his less used suitcases. Adrein crawled out of the closet and stood up, holding his newly found shoe in two fingers. He cocked an eyebrow at Plagg.

“Oh _thaat_ shoe, yeah that was in the closet. Thought you knew.” Plagg retorted unceremoniously.

“Uh-huh,” Adrien shot back, a slight smile on his lips. “And do you have any idea how all of this cheese ended up inside it?”

“Uhh, nope! No idea at all!”

“Really? Huh. Well I guess if its not yours, I’ll have to just throw it all away...”

“No wait!” Plagg shouted as he darted off the bed with surprising speed. Adrien’s smile turned to a smug grin. “Ok fine! I hid the shoe. But I can’t help it! The old shoe smell really brings out the best flavors in the cheese.”

“Plagg! This is disgusting!” Adrien scolded as he took off his other shoe. Adrien went back into the closet to find another pair as Plagg sheepishly snuck over to grab some of his “aged” cheese out of the pungent shoe.

Their activities were interrupted by a loud banging at Adrien’s door. Adrein stood up with a start and Plagg darted into his shirt pocket as the door to the bedroom swung open. In the doorway stood the imposing figure of Adrien’s bodyguard. His eyes darted ever so slightly from Adrien to the front of the house, towards the driveway. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t find my shoe and... oh wait,” Adrien stopped in the middle of his sentence and scrunched up his face for a second, trying hard to remember something. Then, very slowly and deliberately, Adrien started moving his hands, signing “Sorry, I’m running late. I’ll be down in a minute.” His signing was sloppy – he certainly needed more practice – but the message came across.

The bodyguard smiled ever so slightly, but his eyes betrayed a warmth and affection. He nodded and turned to go back down to the car. Adrien finished putting on his thankfully unsoiled shoes and rushed down to meet him.


	2. The Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien run into each other on their way to school, but miscommunications leave both of them feeling isolated and hurt.

The front steps of Françoise Dupont High School were essentially vacant by the time the clock struck 8:30. All of the students were not only in the building, but likely already in their seats. Almost all of them. Marinette came sprinting around the corner, running up towards the steps. Her backpack hung heavy on her shoulders and her lungs burned. Given how many times she had sprinted from her house to the school, and how often she had to chase an akumatized victim across the city, she figured she’d be a stronger runner. But it seems the heightened athleticism was mostly Ladybug’s domain; Marinette was more than happy to stick to art.

She wasn’t the only one to be rushing into the school late. A silver sedan rounded the corner from the other direction and stopped in front of the school. The door flew open a bit more quickly than Adrien had intended as he rushed out of the car. He signed “Thank you!” back to his bodyguard as the car started to pull away. Marinette didn’t notice the motion, however. In fact, like usual, the moment she saw him, her mind went totally blank. Adrien noticed her, however.

“Oh, hey Marinette!” He called out, speed walking towards the entrance to the school. “Are you running late too?” Marinette’s eyes were wide with some combination of joy, shock, and terror. She had stopped in her tracks the moment she saw him get out of the car. And after a moment of awkward silence, Adrien stopped moving too and looked at her, eyes filled with confusion.

“Uh, Marinette?” he asked. Something in Marinette’s brain clicked, and she was snapped back to her senses. _Oh God, I’ve just been staring at him like a creep! I have to answer,_ she thought, panicked. _Okay, it’s okay, you practiced this. He’s just a friend and you ran into him on your way to school. What would you do if it was Alya instead? You can do this. You can do this._

“I,uh, w-w... h-hi, A-adr-adrien. Y-yeah, l-like usual. F-or me, n-not for y-you! Or, uh, u-unle-less you a-are late a lot. W-wait no! T-that's n-not what I m-m-meant. I, uh, I meant, um, h-how, h-h-how...” she started, but her voice trailed off before she bothered to finish. What was the point, it had already started, there wasn’t any recovery after the first time she stumbled over her words. It was all just downhill from there. She could painstakingly recite her two sentence script, but why bother? She was just going to look like a fool in front of him anyway, like she already did.

But he just stood there, looking at her, waiting for her to finish, or waiting for this conversation, if she could even call it that, to be over. Her eyes downcast, Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with her left hand, as her right gripped the strap of her backpack tightly, knuckles turning white. She could feel Adrien’s eyes on her; she could see his eyebrows raise, then knit together in confusion. _What if he thinks I’m a freak? What if he was just being polite but didn’t want to get stuck in a conversation with “stuttering Marinette?” I shouldn’t hold him up anymore._

“S-s-orr-y, n-never-mind...” she trailed off, unable to meet his eyes. Adrien's face softened to a look of disappointment, or was it annoyance. He opened his mouth to speak as Marinette's cheeks turned crimson with embarrassment and frustration. 

"Oh, okay, are you sure?" he asked. Marinette watched him out of the corner of her eye, still not able to bring herself to make eye contact. For a second, she could have sworn he looked like he wanted to say something else, but the moment was interrupted by the shrill ringing of the school bell. 8:35, late.

Adrien turned towards the doors at the sound, and then back towards Marinette. 

"Y-you s-should get t-to class," she stammered, voice flat. Adrien looked like he wanted to protest for a moment, but she continued. "I'll c-catch up."

Adrien looked conflicted but nodded and turned towards the door. "OK, I'll see you inside," he shouted back at her as he half ran into the building. Marinette slowly walked up the steps after him, eyes still downcast. She could feel Tikki peering out at her from her purse, feel those small sympathetic eyes watching her with worry, but she was still late, and she didn't feel much like talking. Marinette opened the door, and shuffled inside the building.

***

Adrien arrived in Mme. Bustier's class within two minutes of the bell, and Marinette followed him within another minute. Mme. Bustier gave each of them a stern eyebrow raise as they entered, but did not press the issue further, which he appreciated. Adrien was already in his seat by the time Marinette entered the room, and although she had to pass right by him to get to her seat, she seemed to be making a pointed effort not to look at him. Adrien frowned.

He usually enjoyed Mme. Bustier's class, but today, Adrien couldn't focus. _Did I do something wrong?_ he thought to himself. _Marinette always seems to have trouble talking to me, but today seemed particularly bad. She didn't make it past 'hello.'_

Adrien tried to put the conversation with Marinette out of his mind, but for some reason that he couldn't quite put his finger on, it just kept bothering him. Every so often, he could hear Marinette and Alya chatting behind him. That wasn't particularly unusual: between those two and him and Nino, the whole front left section of the class wasn't known for being quiet during the instruction. But it kept driving a point home that had been bothering him for quite a while. 

_Why is it that she only seems to have trouble talking to me?_ He thought, face lined with worry. _She never has trouble talking to Alya or Nino. She doesn't even get flustered around Chloe. Maybe it’s the model thing. Maybe she just sees a celebrity and can’t actually get past that to get to know me._ Adrien’s frown deepened. He had been worried about that since he first started asking to go to school, that he would always be some larger than life celebrity, and that people wouldn’t be able to get to know him because they only saw a fashion icon and not a classmate, or even a kid.

 _Or what if she just doesn’t like me?_ Adrien though, with increasing worry. _I didn’t make a great first impression with that gum thing. But I explained and I thought she forgave me. But maybe it isn’t about that. Maybe she just doesn’t get along with me, and she’s too polite to tell me, so she gets nervous and tries to end the conversation as quickly as possible. She doesn’t seem upset when I manage to hangout with her, Alya, and Nino, but she still can’t talk to me. Maybe she resents me for butting my way into her friend group, and just wishes I go back home._

Logically, Adrien knew those worries were unfounded, but there was a part of him, in the back of his mind, that told him it was possible. He had only been at school for a few months, and aside from Chloe, he had never had any friends. People didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't seem to mind, but he still found himself getting tripped up on some of the finer points of getting to know his classmates. Faux pas he stumbled into, inside jokes he didn't understand, sometimes it felt like there was a secret language, built from a lifetime of going to school together and getting to know other kids, that he just couldn't warp his head around. But he wanted to.

Adrien wanted desperately to learn that language, to become a part of this school, to make friends. And he really wanted to be friends with Marinette, or at least, if she didn't like him or he had done something wrong, to understand why. He resolved himself to talk to her after class. What could go wrong with direct, open communication? Given that he had been deep in thought and completely zoned out for the majority of class, he did not have to wait long.

The dismissal bell rang, and the rest of the class shuffled out to their next period. Adrien stood up, almost shot up, and turned to try and talk to Marinette. Perhaps he startled her, or perhaps she really didn’t want to talk to him, because as Adrien locked eyes with Marinette, she let out a small, shrill “Eep!”

Marinette turned to Alya and practically shouted “I have to get to my next class!” before running out of the room just as Adrien opened his mouth to speak. Alya looked at him and simply shrugged before following her friend out of the class. Adrien sighed. Once again, their conversation was ended before it could begin by the ringing of the bell.


	3. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien and Marinette both try to unpack their awkward conversation that morning, and both assume the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on this again! This one may not be the best, I wrote it entirely while my sleep meds were kicking in.

“Come on Nino, help me out,” Adrien pleaded. “I’m really worried here.”

“You got nothing to worry about man,” Nino replied, looking a bit uncomfortable. “Besides, what can I tell you that you don’t already know?” The two boys sat on the front steps of the school, sticking close by until the lunch period ended. 

“It’s just... You’ve known Marinette for a lot longer than me. You guys have been in school together forever.” Nino nodded and shrugged his shoulders slightly. “And with my schedule and my dad, I’m not always there when you guys hang out,” Adrien continued. “So, has she said anything to you? Or does she seem different when I’m not around? I’m just worried that she’s mad at me, or that I did something wrong.”

“Why don’t you just go talk to Marinette about it?”

“Well that’s the problem. Every time I try to talk to her, or even when she tries to talk to me, she clams up and ends the conversation.”

“Hah, yeah, well... that’s just, typical Marinette!” Nino replied with fake confidence, a nervous smile on his face. Adrien could tell something was up; Nino was a terrible liar and he was even worse at keeping secrets. He probably knew why Marinette always seemed uncomfortable around him. After all, Alya shared everything with him, and she was Marinette’s best friend. Adrien didn’t want to push, though. His friend's honesty was one of his favorite qualities, and Marinette was entitled to her privacy. He didn’t want to put Nino in an awkward position or make him feel like he had to betray Marinette’s trust.

Adrien sighed, resting his head on his arms as they laid across his knees. “She doesn’t seem to get like that around anyone else, though, just me. I don’t know, I thought we were friends, but maybe I’ve just been misreading things.”

Nino opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. He hated seeing his best friend like this, especially when he knew the _real_ reason Marinette was always a nervous wreck around him. Watching those two wildly misinterpret each other's actions was so deeply frustrating, Nino had no idea how Alya managed it day to day. 

"Look," Nino finally caved, "have you ever asked her directly? Like just come out and said, 'Hey, did I do something wrong?'" Nino wasn't going to betray Marinette, or more importantly, Alya's trust in him, but Adrien looked like a sad little kitten whenever he was upset, and Nino wasn't about to let him give up on a friendship with someone who cares a lot about him because neither of them could just be direct with each other.

"Well, I mean... no, not really. But I don't want to upset her, she already seems so stressed when I'm around, I don’t want to add to that or anything. What if saying that to her makes talking to her even harder?"

"Uh, I don't know man, maybe just text her then?" Nino was out of ideas. Receiving the text 'Are you mad at me?' is just about one of the most nerve wracking things imaginable, but hey, at least it's a lot harder to stutter over text!

At Nino's half hearted suggestion, however, something lit up in Adrien’s eyes. "You know, that's not a bad idea," he responded, deep in thought and his focus clearly some place else. It was a bad idea, but so long as his best friend was happy, Nino was content. "Great! Now can we eat? I'm starving."

***

Alya sat awkwardly next to her best friend at a secluded table in the corner of the courtyard, trying to eat her lunch as quietly as possible while Marinette sat with her head buried in her arms on the table. This wasn't the first time they had spent lunch like this, and I wouldn't be the last. Alya always felt really bad when this happened; it was hard to see a friend in pain and not try to comfort them. But after the first few times Marinette shut down around her, Alya quickly discovered that trying to comfort her, and thus drawing attention towards them, made things much worse. They had talked about it, and Marinette had asked her not to try and reach out when she got particularly bad, especially in public. She knew that Marinette needed a little space to cool off and come out of it, and that just being near her when she felt this way was comfort enough. So, hard as it was, Alya sat there with her friend, and waited.

After another minute or two, Marinette slowly got back up, still avoiding eye contact and looking a bit skittish, but certainly seeming a bit more animated than before. "You ok, girl?" Alya asked. Marinette nodded and offered a weak smile. "Yeah, I'm OK, sorry."

"No problem. Do you want to keep talking about it?"

"Yeah... I do."

"OK, so you and Adrien were both running late, and you ran into each other on the way in..."

"Yeah," Marinette replied sadly.

"I was wondering why you two were practically walking in together," Alya responded with a cheesy smile as she lightly elbowed her best friend's side. Marinette rolled her eyes, but smiled in spite of herself.

"It certainly wasn't anything like that. It was just, I started stuttering again, even worse than normal." 

Alya offered a sympathetic frown. She knew how much Marinette's stutter bothered her. "What did you say to him?" Alya asked, but she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

"Nothing, I basically just walked away," Marinette groaned, resting her head on her hands again. Alya just lightly shook her head.

"So that's why you two were acting weird today? Girl, I'm sure Adrien doesn't care about the stutter. He's probably more worried that you didn't want to talk to him!"

"Wait, really?!" Marinette practically shrieked, eyes wild. _Ugh, way to go Alya_ , she internally scolded herself. "Hey, woah, not that big of a deal, I'm sure he's not upset. I just mean... Adrien's nice right? You think he's a nice guy?"

"Well.. I mean yeah, obviously," Marinette answered, the terror in her eyes replaced with a dreamy haze.

"Great, so then, if he's so nice, he's not going to mind the stutter. You just have to give him a chance to get to know you. And to do that, you just have to talk to him, stutter or not."

"Ugh, I know, I know," Marinette replied, clearly frustrated, fingers massaging her temples. "But it's more than just a stutter. I get tripped up over my words, and can't think clearly. I always say the wrong thing, never what I'm actually thinking. How is he supposed to get to know me that way?"

"I don’t know," Alya conceded. "But I know he definitely isn't going to if you don't at least try. You've gotta just... be his friend. It's really clear he wants to be yours."

"I really wish I could figure out how," Marinette sighed, and returned to her untouched lunch.


End file.
